If you were dictator of the world...

[mark]

I could be best-man at the wedding!!! Do I get to perform the bridesmaid tradition of shagging the groom immediately after the ceremony before he gets to perform in the bedroom for his bride???!!!! I'm sure I could make your wedding day a very memorable occasion Andy...

And comparing dogs to nazi's is kinda... harsh to say the least lol!!! It's weird, i'm the one with a bit of a dog phobia (yes, I actually sometimes cross the road at the sight of a dog lol ) and yet I am the one sticking up for them!!!! They can be quite cute and loving and friendly - depends on the bitch! (as you'd know Andy - or maybe not as you haven't had much experience with da ladeez!!!)... Anyway you know for an englishman a dog is a man's best friend - we are a country of dog lovers - except for the fact as I said i'm kinda scared of some dogs; I always expect to be savaged for some reason - why would anything want to savage me???!!!! You hear about babies and kids getting mauled by 'devil dogs' in the papers these days but as an animal I can't let u be too cruel to dogs as a whole - puppies are so cute right???!!! See, I can be a sweet guy sometimes... Although maybe you're right, they should be tied in sacks and thrown into a fast-flowing river before they get the chance to grow into full-sized dogs!!!! nah, i'm kidding, but i'm sure you two are turned on by the idea!!!!!

Oh and btw I LOVE the fact that all my teasing and calling Andy 'darling' and 'petal' and 'sweetheart' has led to 'car wash' thinking HE is the gay one!!!!! But then again, anyone who professes to be "100% straight" is definitely over-compensating for something!!!! Methinks someone protests too much!!!! Oh and the admission of a desire to dress in women's clothes is hardly a surprise is it???!!!! Just remember to post a pic of yourself when you do Andy!!!!!

[SoGone]

...never mind. But anyway, back to marriage, what do you say?

Erm...yeah why not.
Meet me tomorrow at 9am, bring a tie.

I don't even know where you live; there'll be issues with time zones, not to mention flying all over the world trying to find you. I'm guessing somewhere in Europe, but I don't even know that much.


Do I have to wear a tie? Can't we just go down to a courthouse in our street clothes? Our love shouldn't have to be confined by socially dictated dress codes.

[SoGone]

I could be best-man at the wedding!!! Do I get to perform the bridesmaid tradition of shagging the groom immediately after the ceremony before he gets to perform in the bedroom for his bride???!!!! I'm sure I could make your wedding day a very memorable occasion Andy...

And comparing dogs to nazi's is kinda... harsh to say the least lol!!! It's weird, i'm the one with a bit of a dog phobia (yes, I actually sometimes cross the road at the sight of a dog lol ) and yet I am the one sticking up for them!!!! They can be quite cute and loving and friendly - depends on the bitch! (as you'd know Andy - or maybe not as you haven't had much experience with da ladeez!!!)... Anyway you know for an englishman a dog is a man's best friend - we are a country of dog lovers - except for the fact as I said i'm kinda scared of some dogs; I always expect to be savaged for some reason - why would anything want to savage me???!!!! You hear about babies and kids getting mauled by 'devil dogs' in the papers these days but as an animal I can't let u be too cruel to dogs as a whole - puppies are so cute right???!!! See, I can be a sweet guy sometimes... Although maybe you're right, they should be tied in sacks and thrown into a fast-flowing river before they get the chance to grow into full-sized dogs!!!! nah, i'm kidding, but i'm sure you two are turned on by the idea!!!!!

Oh and btw I LOVE the fact that all my teasing and calling Andy 'darling' and 'petal' and 'sweetheart' has led to 'car wash' thinking HE is the gay one!!!!! But then again, anyone who professes to be "100% straight" is definitely over-compensating for something!!!! Methinks someone protests too much!!!! Oh and the admission of a desire to dress in women's clothes is hardly a surprise is it???!!!! Just remember to post a pic of yourself when you do Andy!!!!!

Tradition as it may be, I plan to be faithful to my bride. It's not often that you come across a dog-hating woman with fairly similar tastes in music. That's the kind of relationship you just can't afford to jeopardize.

I'm also a cross-the-street kind of guy when it comes to dogs...but they are NOT friendly or loving; they just act that way to get food or be touched (sort of like the more pathetic humans). And I hate cute things.

I don't think puppies should be drowned in a river, simply because that's a waste of perfectly good animal meat that could be used to feet the hungry and starving.

You're one of those "everyone is bisexual" people, aren't you?

[mark]

I think 'car wash' is from Sweden or something but we'll let her confirm or deny that!... (I always think of her as a 'he' because it always sounds too aggresive to have the word *unt in a username if you're a girl, but maybe that's just me being sexist!!!)...

no, andy i'm one of those "you could be gay.... for me!!!" people!!!!!

I'm friendly and loving, does that make ME a pathetic human???!!!!!

Oh and I have a bit of a dog phobia so I am sure it couldn't be too difficult to learn to hate them if I tried, and we have similar ish/bearable tastes in music so... come on, no excuse - bed me!!!!!

[SoGone]

Car wash *unt, if you're still reading this, what is behind your username? What's it mean?


There's a difference between being friendly and loving because you genuinely want to make people happy or something like that, and being nice because you want to be fed.


And man, as much as I can dig the whole "vaginas are nasty" thing (they are, they really are), guy's bodies are even nastier. At least women can be pretty, something that men (even Neil Codling) cannot be.

[mark]

I'm sure if I shave off my beard, put on some make-up and wear some sexy frilly underwear I could be pretty for you!!!! oooooooh shit, although I almost forgot to mention I am hairier than the hairiest fully grown ape so maybe i'll have to work at it a bit more first (although I could get away with being a slightly prettier Susan Boyle I guess)...

oh and sometimes i'm nice just to be fed too!!!!!....

[SoGone]

Yeah, hair is nasty. That's probably the worst aspect of the male body.


The exception is, you know, "hair," just plain hair...the stuff on top of your head.



But make-up is unnecessary and nasty too, and I'm not an underwear guy.




I bet sometimes you're nice just to get...well, I won't say it, but it rhymes with "fed"!

[mark]

omg don't say that about hairy men!!!! I've just had my heart broken once already this week and now you're telling me we are over too???!!!! Ok, i'll just have to stick to plain old flirting with you from now on!!!!....

oooh you're not an underwear or make up guy, cool, I never wear make up and it doesn't take me long to get naked so if you can forgive the 'hair issue' we can get started!!!!...

hmmm rymes with 'fed'..... bed, shed, led, dead, wed, said.... ah, lol, the penny final dropped!!!! I'm nice for all manner of purposes!!!!....

[SoGone]

Sorry, mate. Hair's a complete turn-off for me.

Do you wear tight jeans? I like tight jeans. But not on men.



You're very versatile, I'll give you that. (But not a certain something else, no matter how nice you are!)

[sunshine]

Everybody smiles because we shock the winter
Everybody sits round to watch the sky

[mark]

c'mon Andy, don't knock it til you've tried it!!!! Quick get me some Amyl Nitrate, maybe that would do the trick instead!!!! Are you quite submissive when you're drunk???? Maybe I need to get you drunk then!!!!

And my Jeans are actually fairly baggy-ish, tight jeans on me would be a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad look!!!!!

[SoGone]

Never tried it that way, never tried it that way...I'm fairly sure I'm glad that I haven't tried 99% of the things Suede and Brett talk about...

I've never really been drunk, just buzzed. I mean, sometimes when I mix booze and sleeping pills I get a bit off, but that's not really being drunk...


Baggy jeans are a total turnoff. It amazes me how guys with the "gangster look" get laid. It must be, as they said, their money and drugs.

[mark]

They aren't REALLY baggy, just slightly because I have short legs and thunder thighs!!!!

And I hate the word buzzed - really annoys me for some reason, we never use it here but I know another american who does... although some annoying chav scum here do sometimes saying they are 'buzzing' or 'aving it large' when they are high!!!... or something like that anyway!!!...

[sunshine]

(do you really need a piece of paper to say you love someone?)

You said that we were just good friends
But we jump red lights all the way to the end
There you go, there you go again

[SoGone]

They aren't REALLY baggy, just slightly because I have short legs and thunder thighs!!!!

And I hate the word buzzed - really annoys me for some reason, we never use it here but I know another american who does... although some annoying chav scum here do sometimes saying they are 'buzzing' or 'aving it large' when they are high!!!... or something like that anyway!!!...

Thighs are nasty, for males or female. Face it: the human body is disgusting.


Buzzed might not be the best word, but there really aren't any synonyms for it, so we're stuck...