Funny priest stories

[SoGone]

...so this guy's lying in a hospital bed. The priest grabs his arms, pulls him up, and yells, "Come on, walk, you bastard." The guy dies the next day.

...another guy's sitting in a wheelchair. The priest grabs his shoulders/chest, pulls him out of the wheelchair, hugging him, and yells, "Come on, you bastard, stand up."




These are both true stories. Perhaps they're one of the (many) reasons why I'm a lapsed Catholic.

[mark]

sounds VERY difficult to believe... You spend a lot of time observing priests in hospitals do you Andrew???...

I think the reason you're a lapsed catholic has more to do with your insatiable masturbation issues...

[SoGone]

...no, but for the record, the guy in the wheelchair incident occurred at the church itself...



...and yeah, sex has a LOT to do with it...

[mark]

I have seen faith healers get people out of wheelchairs but shouting at someone "come on stand up you bastard" is a bit much!!!...

[SoGone]

Faith healers, lol...


Do you have The Far Side over there? It reminds me of that one cartoon captioned "Appliance Healers," and it shows a guy yelling, "I command the foul demons that have plagued this vacuum cleaner to come OUT!"

[mark]

no!!!.... sounds... interesting!!!...

[SoGone]

The Far Side = greatest newspaper comic strip ever.


Well, second greatest, because Calvin & Hobbes is the greatest.

[mark]

u like newspaper comic strips???? cool.... not a big 'comic' fan myself but...

[SoGone]

Let me qualify:


Calvin & Hobbes and The Far Side = the only two truly great newspaper comic strips.


Dilbert, Bizarro, and Non Sequiter (though the latter two are blatant Far Side ripoffs) have had their moments. Silent/Random/Invisible Garfield is brilliant, but that's more an Internet thing than a newspaper thing, so...

[mark]