Suede Online

Just kidding, of course. I've never actually read them, but judging from the people who seem to be into it, it's a fairly safe bet that they're not worth much.


This summary, copy-pasted from Wikipedia, says all you need to know, really:

"When Bella is seated next to Edward Cullen in class on her first day of school, Edward seems utterly repulsed by her. He disappears for a few days, but warms up to Bella upon his return; their newfound relationship reaches a climax when Bella is nearly run over by a fellow classmate's van in the school parking lot. Edward saves her life when he instantaneously appears next to her and stops the van with his bare hands."



Funniest thing I've read since that letter-to-the-editor blaming Obama for the Bush-era recession.

Never read the books (there are books ???!!! ) and never watched the films (never even knew the films existed until about a year ago and I still don't really know what they are about - or care!!!! The poster designs look a bit 'buffy the vampire slayer' which put me off immmediately!!!)...

Maybe it's more an American thing...in which case, that's another plus for the UK.

That said, Kristen Stewart is hot enough for Bananarama.

Even though I hate Joan Jett. : /

well, i don't know over there... but over here school is full of demented girls who scream as soon as you mention the vampire (who needs a shower) or the hot dog (i mean, the wolf)

I don't think there's a guy on the planet who honestly enjoys Twilight...if a guy says he does, he's probably just trying to get into some girl's knickers.

Mind you, I'm not that kind of guy. I'm the sort of person who's open about his...unpopular opinions.


Hmm, maybe that's why I don't have a girlfriend.

I need to learn to lie to people, to tell them what they want. I'd be awash in lovely young women then.

::Cough::

yeah lie to them - just tell them you have a huge **** and they'll be all over you!!!! - obviously they won't know that it isn't true until it's too late!!!!

My honest statement: "Well, babe, I have an average-sized chunk of manhood and am prone to premature you-know-what. And I like to listen to Kate Bush while doing it. So what do you say, love?"


I've never actually said that, but I'm pretty sure that's how one of those conversations would go.

OMG!!!!

I think you need help (for many different reasons!!!)!!!!

I've been to half a dozen therapists. None of them helped.